… celebrating all that outrages the public

Your charming hosts

Your charming hosts

Radio slob Kyle Sandilands isn’t going to let the forces of good taste and decency get to him. No way!

Apparently he’s being bothered by pesky people that reckon its wrong to ask a 14-year-old about her sex life live on-air, and that if she then reveals she was rape, he’s got to cop the blame for how it all turns out.

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So he’s employed guards to ward them off.

PRIVATE security guards have been called in to protect the $1.9 million home of disgraced shock jock Kyle Sandilands.
For a bloke whose job on Australian Idol is to dress down the way contestants look, Sandilands doesn’t seem too fussy about the appearance of his guards. What’s with this guy?

source: Daily Telegraph

source: Daily Telegraph

Oh … and that previous sentence should say “whose FORMER job on Australian Idol“.

The most scandalous part of this whole affair is the revelation that Sandilands gets paid $1 million by Idol to do nothing but act like a fat, drunk insensitive husband who looks at his wife and says: “Your arse looks big in that”.

He earns about $3.8 million a year from his TV and radio commitments – roughly $1 million from Australian Idol and $2 million from 2Day FM’s owner, Austereo, with a $100,000 bonus each time his radio show wins one of the eight annual surveys.

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God bless Karmichael Hunt.

We reported recently that the NRL was blitzing AFL on the scandal front this year.

This of course has thrown our tag cloud (see right) way off balance, with “Rugby League” expanding quicker than former Australian cricketer Shane Lee.

Eager to help out, Hunt is has decided to take his mischief-making ways over to the AFL, just to spread the mayhem.

Hunt is already speaking clearly, a sign his league days are dwindling.

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Jodi Gordon in drama

Jodi Gordon in drama

Career advice from the Daily Telegraph to Jodi Gordon: Make a sex tape, please.

In another world-first, written-in-red EXCLUSIVE from Sydney’s tabloid, apparently scandal can be good for a career.

BEING found by police with a bikie, on premises where drugs had been taken, might not sound like a first-class ticket to success. But Tinseltown’s track record shows that what looked like the biggest mistake of Jodi Gordon’s career could, in the long run, work in her favour.

In 2003, Hilton was just another wealthy socialite - albeit a tad more interesting than some because of the worldwide fame of her family’s Hilton hotel chain.
But a sizzling sex tape changed all that. It was released by her then boyfriend Rick Salomon shortly before Hilton’s television series, The Simple Life, debuted, and a media sensation ensued.

Please. Jodi can’t just skip steps and make a sex tape (although certain Home and Away colleagues might be willing partners).

There’s still the woman’s mag interview (but she’s done that), a lads’ mag photo shoot, a tell-all with Tracy on ACA ….

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Pissing contest

Pissing contest

The news is often just a contest about which footy code has behaved most outrageously.

So what do leaders from two of the largest football codes - the NRL and AFL, the highest scandal-generating institutions in the country - do when they get together?

Get into a pissing contest … literally.

ON HIS very first day as Bulldogs CEO last year, Todd Greenberg ducked into the corporate bathrooms at ANZ Stadium for a spot of light relief.
The business at hand was far from complete when a shadow - not unlike that cast at the start of an Alfred Hitchcock film - splashed across the urinal wall. It belonged to AFL boss Andrew Demetriou.

“Sooooo . . . you’ve taken the Bulldogs job, then?” Demetriou asked as he assumed the position, feet splayed, resting on his heels.

“That’s right,” Greenberg replied. “I start today actually.”

Demetriou paused long enough for the simultaneous hiss and gurgle to echo above the air-conditioning. Then added: “Well mate, do your three year apprenticeship at the Bulldogs and then you can come and work for us.”

Greenberg looked again to his left, not sure whether Demetriou was taking the piss as well as having one. He was met by a smug smile, a zip of the trousers and not another word.

For the record, as far as scandal goes, the NRL is way, way on top this season.

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Johns' jobhunt

Johns' jobhunt

It’s apparently never too late to need a good career adviser.

Shamed rugby league personality Matthew Johns is basically in hiding after he was linked to a massive group sex scandal.

So what does he think is an astute next-step for his career? To be the guy who answers for players when they shit in hotel rooms or get drunk and behave badly in public.

Matthew Johns’ management team wouldn’t rule out the possibility of the fallen media personality making a run at the vacant Newcastle coaching job.
Speculation has surfaced that Johns was considering applying for the post following Brian Smith’s decision to walk out on the final year of his deal to link up with the Sydney Roosters.

A rugby league coaching job? Yeah smart move Matty.

You can almost picture him at the first press conference after a Newcastle player mucks up, sitting with head bowed wondering how he found himself back in the spotlight again.

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Sea Patrol

Sea Patrol

We think this might be satire.

Australian media report that allegations that Aussie sailors fantasise about sleeping with women while away at sea might cripple the navy’s future!

ALLEGATIONS of sexual misconduct involving sailors from HMAS Success could hinder efforts to attract new recruits, the Navy’s head of personnel said today.

Sailors get toey out at sea? Gosh!

If news of this “sex ledger” can crimp Navy’s recruitment, one can only wonder what impact the sultry Sea Patrol drama is having on our naval stocks.

Series two of the popular show has seen increasingly steamy scenes aboard the fictional patrol boat HMAS Hammersley.

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Cousins:'Absolutely raped'

Cousins:'Absolutely raped'

As tens of thousands risk death in Iran and protest the right to be heard, two of our favourite yobs give protesters reason to pause as they duck under the basij militia’s gunfire and consider whether free speech is a good thing.

Just as the AFL struggles to get past John Elliot’s claim his Carlton Blues paid off raped women with hush money, Ben Cousins today helpfully reached into his top-draw of effrontery to liken a woman’s experience of sexual assault to losing a game of footy.

The Tigers star yesterday told Nova FM his team had been “absolutely raped” in Sunday night’s 56-point loss to St Kilda.
Nova breakfast host Kate Langbroek played along with the rape reference.
“Oh hello, you can’t make jokes like that about footballers my friend - mind you, they might give you $5000 to go away,” she said.
Cousins: “You’re not allowed to rape people, but it’s all right if you get raped yourself, isn’t it?”
Langbroek: “Well, you know . . . John Elliott will give you some cash.”

Nice cameo by Langbroek …

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Brad Fittler is supercoach.

The Roosters coach doesn’t just pass on his greatness to his players on matters like kicking, tackling and passing.

More recently he showed the way on public drunkeness, a lesson his younger charges clearly followed very intently, as we see from police charges yesterday against Jake Friend and Sandor Earl.

And it’s clear from the below videos that Fittler has also done a lot of enunciation work with halfback Mitchell Pearce.

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Joeys

Joeys

You’ve got to think teenage boys in UK are wired differently.

How else to explain the shock of a 19-year-old Briton on a gap year at St Joseph’s College in Sydney that his confession about sleeping with a middle-aged staff member would spread?

What, teens in the UK don’t talk about sex?

“He told a few of the gap boys and they told some Year 12 boys who told the teachers,” she said. “Then it became a joke, and I think he found it really hard to deal with.
“Little by little it got a bit too much - he’s quite reserved, a shy bloke,” she added.

Meanwhile, the words “sex” and “elite private school” almost form into articles themselves these days, there’s that many of the scandals.

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Liar

Liar

Disgraced judge Marcus Einfeld is training a bunch of women to continue his work while he’s locked up.

Einfeld of course shattered our innocent assumptions that judges were pure as driven snow, when he lied his underpants off to get out of a $77 speeding fine.

Angela Liati helped Einfeld wriggle out of the fine, lying support Einfeld’s lie that he wasn’t driving. Basically there was a lot of lying going on.

Just months after the arrogant headcase was jailed for his lie, Liaiti is trying “the Einfeld defence” herself, in a bid to fight her own speeding fine.

Liati is challenging a parking fine and at least one of two speeding fines on the basis that “I was not the driver” according to court documents.
<snip>
Asked who she had nominated as driving this time, Liati laughed, “no one who was dead at the time”.

C’mon Ange … our memories aren’t that short.

Liati has court form.

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